It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
