my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
