at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
