yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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