You just made me feel so damn special
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
