i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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