hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
