we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
