dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
