dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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