A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
