I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
