Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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