You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize