She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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