is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
