What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
