Soap is not a condiment
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
