I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
