Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
