Cold hands, warm shart.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
