Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So vagazzling was a success
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
