Your tits are I can't wait for
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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