mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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