At least make sure they are 18
Why
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
