i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
