Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
