idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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