my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
