Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
