even my farts smell like vagina
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.