These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem