I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
