just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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