i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
