I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
