I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
