Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
