My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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