I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
