Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
