just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
