Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
How's work?
Spinning.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
