She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
