I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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