She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
