At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize