Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
