Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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