I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I would ride that face into the sunset
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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