How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
