um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
