Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
