dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
