Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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