i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
did i just pee glitter
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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