How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
