i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
