Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Terrible idea I love it
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize