so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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