considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
