WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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