saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
