Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
