i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
