it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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