I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
