oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
