I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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