She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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