hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
