Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
